Where Do I Go From Here? (also…How Did I Get Here?)

I have been in massive turmoil lately as I have found myself in disarray. I am not happy at work, at home, by myself, or with others. I did something today that I have not done in quite some time…I prayed. And not just the “Oh, please God help me,” prayer, either. It was much deeper. I want very deeply to turn over a new leaf in my life…maybe running around rampant with no one to account to is not the best thing for me. I thought I was happier this way, but I think the truth is that too much freedom leads to self-destruction.

Balanced Atoms and Balanced Families

During my live chat session for my college biology class, we were discussing electrical charges in atoms regarding having too many electrons or protons and the atom becomes less stable. On my home from Starbucks, there was a song in the radio about a guy who had his whole future planned out around having a boy, but wound up with a little girl instead. It got me thinking about how unbalanced my family could be having two boys instead of one boy and one girl. Leo is a handful for me and I know he is for Dallas. I don’t mean in a bad way, just a young boy growing up, imagining two of those could be a little overwhelming. Each of my kids has different gifts and needs and in a way add to the balance of our overall family. There are times that each of my kids bugs me to the point of wanting to run away, but in truth I cannot imagine my life without them in it.

Chicy Spai

Sometimes my wife’s dyslexia runs off on me…hence the title. (Spicy Chai).

I’ve never had chai tea before, so I didn’t know what to expect. The last thing I expected from an iced tea was to have a mild burning or warm feeling in my mouth or the back of my throat. Definently an interesting experience at my local Starbucks. I tried the Berry Chai this time. I think I’ll give the Apple Chai a go next time.

My Own Morality

Eight years ago today, my father passed away. I have a lot of anxiety regarding that, I wish the preceeding circumstances had been different. Every year on this day I clear my calendar and spend it with my mom. Lately she has been really sick and it has made me realize that I don’t know how much longer she is going to be around either. I feel like a terrible son, I take her being her for granted. I used to spend time with her, now it rare. There are very few pictures of my father and me in my older years. Even though my mom likes to be camera shy, I’m going to have some recent pictures of us together before she goes. There is nothing that can trully be more important than the woman who gave me life and has been there for when no other has. This day forth I vow to show her more attention, affection and appreciation for all that she has done and still does do for me and my family.

My wife’s father is up in age also, but unlike me, she has siblings that are only 10 years older than her and they will be here for her longer than her father… I guess I am blessed, because they welcome me as one of their own.

Personal Victory

This past Friday at work, I planned on leaving fairly early and cutting all of my overtime. Well the fates had other plans for me and condemned me and my team to 4 call ins. Two of the call ins were my heavy throwers so this really set us back. We made it to lunch and break on time, but there was just too much stock for this small of a crew to handle. The good news is that we had had a few really good nights earlier in the week and had banked a few hours for several partners. I sent out messages to the other managers at around 11:30pm to let them know what was going on. Horacio calls me at 5:45 and asks where we are tells me that he will be there in about 15 minutes. He finally rolls in around 6:45 after Lucio and Dean showed up and I caught up with him in receiving. I gave him a report on times and statuses and asked him what he wanted me to do. He replied, in a defeated tone, that he really didn’t give a fuck what a did. In reprise, I asked him, “Why, because my hours are blown?” He replied, “Pretty much…” In my mind, I was thinking, “You son of a bitch! You’re going to quit now, because of this…some fucking leader you are.” I know Randy would have told me to go, because he was anal about OT hours…but he would have answered his phone if I sent a message like that at 11:30. I stormed out receiving and boomed over the PA for all overnight stockers to repoort to the wareroom. As they were sauntering back there, I was chastising them for their crawling pace.  I outlined my plan for them, seth them in motion, and off they went. I finished the wareroom and went to check on things before I departed. As I was checking the floor, Doug called inquiring about Horacio. He defaulted to me and asked me about the state of the department with the 2 call ins from the previous night. I informed him that it was 4 call ins and I could he hear him sit straight up in his chair. I assured him that the stock had been cleared and that several of our crewmembers were under on hours and that the department would be up by 0830. Before leavin I went back by Doug’s office to recant part of what I had said. I informed him that I was over and so was Adam, but we would be under the prerequisite 10 hours for the department, provided that the day crew could control their hours. He was glad to hear of the correction and my thoroughness in making sure he had the most accurate data. I was able to walk out of work Saturda morning feeling very proud of myself because I was not afraid to take charge or correct myself.

P90X

I was supposed to start P90X yesterday, but we had company over for the Fiesta Bowl. Hook em Horns! I got up this morning and did about thirty minutes of the Cardio X DVD and I felt a little light headed. I am still recovering from being sick with flu and Strep and also a little dehydrated. I have to remember to drink plenty of fluids even if I am not going to work.

Houston Day One

I feel honored to have been selected to travel to Houston to help with hurricane relief in our stores. On a sad note, the Galveston store will not be reopened due to contamination and will have to be demolished and rebuilt. At the tim of this writing, 57 of Houston’s 61 store are on public power, with remaing four still on generators.

Our team left Victoria and headed to Spring, TX, which is about 15 miles north of Houston. The store was in good shape and I spent my working risers, even though that doesn’t sound like much, keep in mind that their risers hadn’t been worked in 10 days. Plus, we gave them a huge boost in IMI compliance for their risers. At this time, I’m not sure how much work awaits their tomorrow and as such we may be redeployed to a different store tomorrow afternoon.

Lunch was provided for us at the store. The store has a Cafe on the Run (read Central Market) with a huge selection and we were on an open tab courtesy if the store director. Several of noticed that the food had an excellent flavor and lacked the “burnt” taste we’d grown accustomed to at our local Spoonz cafe. Dinner was at the Cattleguard Restaraunt next to our hotel. I had my first Bison Burger! Since I have never had one before I cut off a little piece and sampled it by itself…several others did the same with items they were trying for the first time. I guess I can be a trendsetter too! We are rooming at the Crowne Plaza hotel…NICE PLACE! You’ll have to see the pictures to understand. There is a lounge complete with pool and shuffleboard, a business center (read free WIFI!), a pool, jacuzzi, restaraunt, and a Starbucks! I’m not going home! I’ll work from here forever! Too bad HEB won’t pay for that.

Grillin’

I originally planned on spending a little me time while waiting for the grill to heat up. I had not sat down for more than a minute when my three year old son appears next to me on his stool. We counted to ten and recited ABCs and had an interesting conversation for his age. Sometimes it’s great being a dad.

Ocean Drive

I was going to go the library for some quiet reading, but said, “screw it,” and headed for the beach. My route took me down Ocean Dr which is kind of like the rich part of Corpus; all I can say is is I want a house there…I’ll pay the hurricane insurance! It was a beautiful drive that eventually took me down to the beach. The place I originally stopped didn’t have the showers so I continued on…I eventually found the place I was looking for and while wading out in the water I had a nice conversation with a guy who hadn’t been back to corpus in 10 years. Something odd I found in the water were these balls that looked like whiffle balls, but had spikes on one side. There were two sizes: one the size of a ping pong ball, the other the six of a softball. The softball size were all over the pier. I thought they were part of a buoy rope at first, but noticed there was no rope. Since I didn’t know what they were, I did my best to steer clear of them, but I think one got me in the side…stung like he’ll and swole up. I slathered some of that hydrocortisol from and the swelling went down an the burning went away, but you can still see marks. I’m going to have to research jellyfish, but if this was one, it isn’t one I’ve ever heard of before.

Flea the Scene

Well the residency was flea-infested, so I made a run for the door, but not before about 20 fleas made their way onto my legs. I am not exagerrating the number either. My legs are swollen from the bites and me swatting myself trying to get them off me. I stopped by a local Walgreens and picked up a tube of hydrocortisol.

Day One

I have made down to Corpus, dropped my pants off at the dry cleaners, and am now enjoying breakfast at a nearby Whataburger. I swear I should own stock in this place! After breakfast I’ll check into the residency and post a few pictures over at http://www.fuzzyshot.com/scottmcc13

Values

Decisions are based on values. You can say they’re based on consequences, but consequences are value based. A married man will have an affair because he values the exciting new relationship more than the one he has at home. Life would be simple if values were constant and never changed, but the only constant is that things are always changing. Something as simple as having a conversation with my three year old son over what he wants for breakfast changes the value of my home and family life.

Need a Knife

The first restroom I came to in the mall was closed for reconstruction. The second one had blood all over the inside as if there had been a crime scene and the stall next to it was locked, but nobody was in there. I searched my pockets for something I could use to unlock the door, but came up with nothing. I chuckled as I walked away because I had been browsing Swiss Army knives earlier today and if I had had one with me I could have opened that door.

Stepbrothers

There have been a few movies that I haven’t cared for, but this movie takes the cake (and then makes me want to throw it up. That was the absolute worst movie I have ever paid to go see. I really didn’t like the last Pirates of the Carribean movie; I went so far as to pull out my phone and play games during that one. This was an adult movie that was better set for a 7th grade humor level.

Group Therapy

I hate group interviews…and that’s exactly what SORM Round 1 interview were. I’ll admit the format was interesting, but I feel worse now than I did going in. Feedback begins at 1630. If we passed we will go on to the computer based testing which can also fail you. Provide I pass both of these, I go back to face Gary again.