One of the speeches in Angels and Demons talks about what the church does. Now, those of you that know me know that I believe that the catholic church is the world’s largest corporation, but we’re not talking about that aspect here. I think that the overall goal of religions in general is to make the world a better place. If all religions could make that their main focus instead of whose beliefs are right or whose god is better, then the world would trully be a better place.

I am nowhere near as religious as I used to be. I found a lot of freedom and relief from stress, but I still try to lead an upstanding life; a life that would set a good example for my children and that my friends and family would be proud to be associated with me and know me.

Could the fact that I try to lead an upstanding life be a religion in itself?

Well for the first time in many years, we saw some snow. It kind of makes our first Christmas here in Houston special. There wasn’t much snow and the ground was still so warm that there were more puddles than snow on the ground. Tonight’s forecast is 5″ so hopefully it’ll be really fun tomorrow morning.

I always hate budget meetings at work, but I like working on my personal budget at home. I spent a good couple of hours planning out the upcoming year. I feel good about the goals I have in place. If all goes as planned. I’ll have all credit accounts and my car paid off with $2k in savings. The only debt I’ll have left will be my student loan, which unfortunately grows throughout the year instead of shrinking like my other bills. I am hoping that all of this financial planning will enable my wife to have the surgery she wants at the end of the year.

I remember sitting in my world history class and the teacher asking us what we wanted to be after high school. We went around the room and the ususal answers rolled in: firefighter, military, doctor, lawyer, etc. The entire exercise came to a halt when one girl gave her answer. They guys gazed at her in wonderment and the girls looked at her with disgust. For everything that the girls wanted to be she had picked the lowest on the chain. She was a pretty girl, a cheerleader, I would have liked to ask her out, but never had the nerve. I wonder what things would have been like…When she was asked what she wanted to be after high school, he answer was simple, yet proud, “I want to be housewife.”

I have been in massive turmoil lately as I have found myself in disarray. I am not happy at work, at home, by myself, or with others. I did something today that I have not done in quite some time…I prayed. And not just the “Oh, please God help me,” prayer, either. It was much deeper. I want very deeply to turn over a new leaf in my life…maybe running around rampant with no one to account to is not the best thing for me. I thought I was happier this way, but I think the truth is that too much freedom leads to self-destruction.

During my live chat session for my college biology class, we were discussing electrical charges in atoms regarding having too many electrons or protons and the atom becomes less stable. On my home from Starbucks, there was a song in the radio about a guy who had his whole future planned out around having a boy, but wound up with a little girl instead. It got me thinking about how unbalanced my family could be having two boys instead of one boy and one girl. Leo is a handful for me and I know he is for Dallas. I don’t mean in a bad way, just a young boy growing up, imagining two of those could be a little overwhelming. Each of my kids has different gifts and needs and in a way add to the balance of our overall family. There are times that each of my kids bugs me to the point of wanting to run away, but in truth I cannot imagine my life without them in it.

Sometimes my wife’s dyslexia runs off on me…hence the title. (Spicy Chai).

I’ve never had chai tea before, so I didn’t know what to expect. The last thing I expected from an iced tea was to have a mild burning or warm feeling in my mouth or the back of my throat. Definently an interesting experience at my local Starbucks. I tried the Berry Chai this time. I think I’ll give the Apple Chai a go next time.

Eight years ago today, my father passed away. I have a lot of anxiety regarding that, I wish the preceeding circumstances had been different. Every year on this day I clear my calendar and spend it with my mom. Lately she has been really sick and it has made me realize that I don’t know how much longer she is going to be around either. I feel like a terrible son, I take her being her for granted. I used to spend time with her, now it rare. There are very few pictures of my father and me in my older years. Even though my mom likes to be camera shy, I’m going to have some recent pictures of us together before she goes. There is nothing that can trully be more important than the woman who gave me life and has been there for when no other has. This day forth I vow to show her more attention, affection and appreciation for all that she has done and still does do for me and my family.

My wife’s father is up in age also, but unlike me, she has siblings that are only 10 years older than her and they will be here for her longer than her father… I guess I am blessed, because they welcome me as one of their own.

This past Friday at work, I planned on leaving fairly early and cutting all of my overtime. Well the fates had other plans for me and condemned me and my team to 4 call ins. Two of the call ins were my heavy throwers so this really set us back. We made it to lunch and break on time, but there was just too much stock for this small of a crew to handle. The good news is that we had had a few really good nights earlier in the week and had banked a few hours for several partners. I sent out messages to the other managers at around 11:30pm to let them know what was going on. Horacio calls me at 5:45 and asks where we are tells me that he will be there in about 15 minutes. He finally rolls in around 6:45 after Lucio and Dean showed up and I caught up with him in receiving. I gave him a report on times and statuses and asked him what he wanted me to do. He replied, in a defeated tone, that he really didn’t give a fuck what a did. In reprise, I asked him, “Why, because my hours are blown?” He replied, “Pretty much…” In my mind, I was thinking, “You son of a bitch! You’re going to quit now, because of this…some fucking leader you are.” I know Randy would have told me to go, because he was anal about OT hours…but he would have answered his phone if I sent a message like that at 11:30. I stormed out receiving and boomed over the PA for all overnight stockers to repoort to the wareroom. As they were sauntering back there, I was chastising them for their crawling pace.  I outlined my plan for them, seth them in motion, and off they went. I finished the wareroom and went to check on things before I departed. As I was checking the floor, Doug called inquiring about Horacio. He defaulted to me and asked me about the state of the department with the 2 call ins from the previous night. I informed him that it was 4 call ins and I could he hear him sit straight up in his chair. I assured him that the stock had been cleared and that several of our crewmembers were under on hours and that the department would be up by 0830. Before leavin I went back by Doug’s office to recant part of what I had said. I informed him that I was over and so was Adam, but we would be under the prerequisite 10 hours for the department, provided that the day crew could control their hours. He was glad to hear of the correction and my thoroughness in making sure he had the most accurate data. I was able to walk out of work Saturda morning feeling very proud of myself because I was not afraid to take charge or correct myself.